


phantoms in the dark

by monokowritesstuff



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, POV Second Person, Sort Of, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monokowritesstuff/pseuds/monokowritesstuff
Summary: a brief history of futaba sakura, told through her eyes.
Kudos: 5





	phantoms in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Futaba! I've had this experimental piece in the works for some time now (second-person is fun!) but I figured it would hit best on Futaba's birthday. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I might do a piece for every Phantom Thief at some point. Only time will tell!

there was a time when the shadows didn’t exist.

you were happy (?) but something still felt like it was missing. your mother was always busy and you didn’t like that but you learned to cope and to surpass your loneliness in spite of how the kids at school made you feel.

and then life blindsided you.

in the blink of an eye, you lost everything. not only did you lose everything, but you were also the reason why it was lost, to begin with. how could you not be? when they read you the note, it shattered you like glass. nobody bothered to put you back together. you were swept under the rug, and rightfully so. you suffocated yourself with your guilt, and the shadows began to form in the dark spaces left behind by what you lost. 

you were left uncared for, after that. it was for the best, or so you thought; a murderous weed should be treated as such. here, there, around the corner, under the stairs, anywhere you wouldn’t be seen is where you were passed, until you ended up with him. you were less than human, then. your status as a rotten burden was fully established. it was a place you learned and learned well. it was a place where the shadows began to loom over you.

the man with the cherry blossom voice tried to save you. he tried his damnedest, even. and for a spell, it worked. but his kindness began to hurt you more than anything, and so you shut him out too. you shut everything out, save for the shadows. you could never shut them out. they taunted you and laughed at you and made you more miserable than you thought possible. 

murderer.

cursed child.

plague.

these refrains swirled around your psyche until you broke. and so you slated yourself to death. the only way to kill a snake was to remove the head. 

right?

so you remained locked up, watching the seasons and the people and the months go by outside from your little window, the AC blasting a chill into your bones that could stand to rival the chill in your soul. the only thing you could do was listen, and watch, and wait, basked in the glow of the only connection you had to the world.

* * *

you knew about them before they even got a chance to know about you. the bugs had picked up everything. names, lives, tears, smiles, the changes of heart, all of it fell onto your ears.

and you found yourself wanting, no, _craving_ the idea of a second chance. and it felt dirty. this was your tomb. you were to remain here and die, for her sake. why did you crave an out so badly?

you needed to get their attention. but how? you were nameless, faceless, invisible to everyone but yourself. they were larger than life, everything you’d wished to be. it frustrated you. so you took them down a notch. your plan was a simple one, and they ate up the bait like candy. to think that their savior was the villain all along. it made you chuckle. alibaba fits you better than you thought.

but they took it too far. they put together the pieces too fast, and soon you found yourself in a panic, with only the door standing between you and the redemption you did not deserve. they wanted something from you. a word. a word you didn’t know. you didn’t know. you couldn’t know. all you knew was that this was your tomb, and it was here where you would die away, unseen.

and that got them in. the noise and scuffling from outside your door ceased, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your shadows.

murderer.

cursed child.

plague.

you wanted this. you wanted their help. something in you, something painfully human, something you couldn’t ignore, wanted to live. you wanted to live. and you hated it. 

the walls went up. they came back. you could feel the pitying glances from them all. you didn’t want their pity. you wanted their silence. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t right. someone like you didn’t deserve to live. anyone who challenged that must be destroyed. 

they had to be.

it was the only way for you to get penitence. the only way. the...

but you weren’t sure anymore. you weren’t sure what you wanted. that little something in you that was barely a whisper was now a commanding bark. ‘live’, it cried. ‘it isn’t your fault.’ 

but you can’t. you can’t live. so you must rid yourself of what stops that from happening. you have to. 

and your security rises. from what you could tell from your bugs, the thieves were tired. and it made you feel ~~bad~~ ~~mad~~ ~~sad~~ unsure of yourself. you were doing your job, and doing it well. the shadows were moving in the dark just right. keeping them at bay. but you questioned your motives. why keep them at bay? why? refusing help, diffusing help, it was always something you did well. why was it so difficult this time? why were you accepting their kindness? they are outsiders. they do not belong. you owe them nothing.

and it clicked. 

you were an outsider too. you still are, when you take a minute to think. you always have been. you were no different from them, in the grand scheme of things.

they all had someone they lost and had someone who had taken advantage of that. but they were whole. 

despite missing a fundamental part of themselves, of who they are, they found wholeness through each other. 

you wanted that. you wanted to put the pieces back together. you wanted to be whole again. you didn’t want to be a shadow, cowering in the dark. you wanted to be a phantom, moving and spinning and pushing towards the light.

they came back. and you welcomed them. they fought. and you cheered. they swore to your freedom. and you believed them. 

even still, that itty bitty scrap of guilt still ate away at you. it kicked and tore and scratched and SCREAMED at you. when you entered your own heart, the guilt echoed louder and shook you to your core.

murderer. 

cursed child. 

plague.

Murderer.

Cursed child.

Plague.

MURDERER! 

CURSED CHILD! 

PL-

no, you’ve had it. no more false truths, no more accusations, no more blame. you weren’t a murderer. you were loved. you meant something to her. you would be entombed no longer. 

and all the pain you had ever felt set upon you at that moment. it made your eyes pop and your skin crawl and your nose run. but somehow, it made you feel whole. the firm grip of… something around your waist made you feel whole. the gentle hum and glow inside your new sanctuary made you feel whole.

you were finally a phantom. shrouded in dark, but pushing towards the light. and they welcomed you. they let you direct them. you were their map to victory. to truth. to what was right in this world.

a slain beast, an empty sarcophagus, and the rumbles of your palace crumbling. all of it escorted you home, to your bed. it felt like a dream. the best dream you’ve ever had. 

but dreams always lead back to sleep (for you, anyway). you couldn’t deny that you were burned out. you had your moment of roaring flame, and now it was time for your light to flicker and die away until it was needed again (and boy, would it be needed).

as sleep tugged at your eyelids, you saw them. just for a moment, a glance at most.

the cat with feet like the wind.

the boy with a charge like lightning.

the girl with fire in her eyes. 

the boy with a demeanor frozen solid.

the girl with a radioactive glow.

and their leader, dark and mysterious even in reality.

you couldn’t wait to be a part of them.


End file.
